YOU ARE NOT DOING ME A FAVOUR

Mirror selfie by Malusi

Fat/body shaming has been something I have experienced ever since I could remember. Body shaming, to those who don’t know or let me say who refuse to know, is the act of expressing mockery or criticism about a person’s body size or shape. I never thought that I would grow to be an adult and experience body shaming as an adult from someone who I am dating.

“If you are ashamed of me then why are you dating me?” A question which was quickly answered by, “I am doing you a favour, because no one likes fat boys”

I tried so hard to understand why “no one likes fag boys”, I looked at myself, I tried to find what was wrong with me but then I realized that I was looking for a problem where there wasn’t a problem.

I realized that most of the people I had dated before then considered dating me as doing me a favor ndaqonda uk’ba hha.aa mahn. I further realized that I had allowed it to happen to me, I had allowed for them to think that they are doing me a favour by thinking less of myself which allowed them to project onto me.

I am aware of my body size and I don’t think anyone who feels the need to constantly remind you has your best interest at heart. In most cases, most of them are projecting their own insecurities onto you because, “how dare he be that big and be so happy about it?” Bugqwirha lobo sana in its purest form.

I am what I am, and I am AWARE of it. Do not try make me look at myself in a negative light because that is how you look at yourself. Deal with your demons, but keep me out of it.

You are NOT doing me a favour.

Love and light x